b-just- a-d bad

I have to say I'm a little proud of KFC. They've struggled lately, trying to add things like grilled chicken to make their delicious home cookin' style seem a little more healthy. Finally, they realized that Extra Crispy is popular for a reason. People want to feel healthy, but they want to taste fatty deliciousness.

And so, the Double Down flourished. Even though I think half the sales were due to Bradley.

Anyway, now that they're no longer such a dying company, they've decided on a new slogan.

This ad isn't bad, really- who doesn't hate that corporate personification of The Man who yells into his cell phone annoyingly on any kind of public transportation? Who wouldn't like to drown him out with some crunchy fatty deliciousness?



But your new slogan? Ugh. Here I thought you were on the upswing... so g-double-o-d good is not the way to go. At least for me. Here are three better ideas:

Start calling KFC "American Food." Then it's not unhealthy; it's patriotic! (Then again, our country is kind of fat.) Memorial Day? Fourth of July? Flag Day? Presidents' Day? Time for some real American food, named after one of the actual United States.

Begin a series of commercials in which sweet old grandparents tell their grandkids to do things like the old days. Get some marketing guys on this to make them charming yet funny. At the end, Granny reminds the kids to "eat some Real Food" and hands 'em a bucket of chicken & biscuits & mashed potatoes. No one can turn down food from their sweet old Gram.

Get the Colonel Doctor to do shameless product placement on Scrubs. This one may be too late now that Scrubs has gotten kind of laaaame, but it still would have been awesome, since there were multiple seasons of calling this guy "Colonel Doctor."

Okay, so they're not good suggestions, but I'm still cringing a little when I hear g-double-o-d-good. If you think you can do better, do share.

Foresight is Handy

That's right, you just go ahead and dance around right up close to one another, wildly swinging sharpened sticks at eye level with what amounts to hot globules of edible napalm on the ends. I'm sure that can't go at all wrong.

Paronomasia

If you've ever watched Bravo's 'Shear Genius' then you will know that the sign-off the hostess uses for every episode is the oh-so-brilliant "And remember, hair is important."
What? What!? What? Who authorized this? Did they...think? At all?
*Sigh*

Educationary

You know what's great? Discovery Channel. I love me some DC. I learn all kinds of things from Discovery. How to bust myths. How to do dirty jobs. How to completely disappoint viewers who were expecting some kind of awesome Captain Nemoesque steampunk submarine out of a show but instead got some young guy doing hokey stunts.
But anyway, I genuinely do love Discovery, and have over recent months been spending more and more time on History Channel as well. Ax Men is pretty great. Perhaps it's just because I love the mountains. And I love the clear blue skies. What can I say? I love when great whites fly.

"A blackhole is like a roach motel. Everything checks in, but nothing checks out." ~ Dr. Michio Kaku, How the Universe Works

Note to Readers: Given the option to reference Arrested Development, I will do it every time.

Oh my goodness. This afternoon, I have seen two ads for a law firm.

Normally, lawyers' ads have a stern guy in a suit, sitting in front of some nice (or possibly fake) bookshelves, and maybe slamming a few large books shut. Normally, law firms are called something like Pretentious Sounding Last Name & Other or Possibly Same Pretentious Sounding Name, Attorneys at Law.

This law firm, though, is a little different (and well-worth the link watch).

Watch TV Spot #4, the first one I saw, or TV Spot #1, which I saw later, to see why. Cracked. Me. Up.

Vespanomics

I feel like I've seen Vespas in about a dozen different commercials recently. Are they now the symbol of trendy young weekend globe-trotters, just out looking for fun and romance in sweet little Italian villages? It seems so. Is this a good thing? Maybe for some. For me (listen up marketing teams) that kind of trend can get annoying fast. Like the fakey, yuppie, hippie wanna-be (emphasis on "wanna-be") kids in the Garnier Fructis commercials. Still not as annoying as the University Bookstore commercials though, which incedently have gotten me to the point where I actually mute the television when I see one coming on. They're that annoying. Well done, University Bookstore, well done.

On another note, a couple weeks ago I caught a marathon showing of LA Ink. Gotta say, it was pretty fascinating. I don't really go for the tatted out guys/girls myself, but the process is interesting, as are the people.

Surprise!

I just saw Nigel Barker (of America's Next Top Model) on the Project Runway finale.

Obviously these are both fashion shows, and it makes sense that "Nigel Barker, noted fashion photographer"  would attend Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week, but it still caught me off-guard because I was watching Top Model earlier tonight.* Little jarring to see someone where you don't expect to see him!

Anyway- does anyone else get weirded out when you see people from one show you watch on another show you watch?

Probably my best recent example of weirding-out-over-a-person-from-one-show-being-on-another is Neil Flynn on The Middle. I've heard good things about the show, but after watching one so-so episode, I can't bring myself to give it another chance. The main reason? I just can't get past Flynn in a new role. Sorry, buddy, but you're always going to be The Janitor to me. The Janitor is a brilliantly hilarious, odd character- and I just can't take you seriously as a regular old nice guy dad who has regular old salt and pepper shakers. And that's probably because I don't want to see you any other way.



*(Yeah, yeah, I'm watching girly TV right now... but it's a night without the fiance! Perfect time to catch up on 'me' shows! Don't worry- my tastes aren't always so stereotypical. Just wait until football season!)

Field Assist

You know who could, and maybe should, share Home Depot's "You can do it; we can help!" slogan? Viagra. Seriously though, when are *you* going to have the Viagra talk with *your* doctor? Me, I'm going to bring it up at my next prostate exam.

I'm a Fan, Starburst

Of the candy and the ad.

Sock Monkeys Rock

I love this commercial. Shortened versions of it have been regularly aired since the Super Bowl and it still makes me smile every time I see one. Well played, Kia, well played.

The Innocents

Note to small business owners:
I don't want to see your kids on your badly shot commercials. I don't think they're cute; I don't find their haltingly delivered line(s) adorable. I don't deem their embarrassed stiffness to be charming or your pathetic attempts at humor enchanting. I don't believe that you are more trustworthy and hometownish because you have the power to procreate.
Also: Balance the freaking white, for crying out loud, or doesn't your clearance bought, "authentic" Koduck video camera have that capability?