b-just- a-d bad

I have to say I'm a little proud of KFC. They've struggled lately, trying to add things like grilled chicken to make their delicious home cookin' style seem a little more healthy. Finally, they realized that Extra Crispy is popular for a reason. People want to feel healthy, but they want to taste fatty deliciousness.

And so, the Double Down flourished. Even though I think half the sales were due to Bradley.

Anyway, now that they're no longer such a dying company, they've decided on a new slogan.

This ad isn't bad, really- who doesn't hate that corporate personification of The Man who yells into his cell phone annoyingly on any kind of public transportation? Who wouldn't like to drown him out with some crunchy fatty deliciousness?



But your new slogan? Ugh. Here I thought you were on the upswing... so g-double-o-d good is not the way to go. At least for me. Here are three better ideas:

Start calling KFC "American Food." Then it's not unhealthy; it's patriotic! (Then again, our country is kind of fat.) Memorial Day? Fourth of July? Flag Day? Presidents' Day? Time for some real American food, named after one of the actual United States.

Begin a series of commercials in which sweet old grandparents tell their grandkids to do things like the old days. Get some marketing guys on this to make them charming yet funny. At the end, Granny reminds the kids to "eat some Real Food" and hands 'em a bucket of chicken & biscuits & mashed potatoes. No one can turn down food from their sweet old Gram.

Get the Colonel Doctor to do shameless product placement on Scrubs. This one may be too late now that Scrubs has gotten kind of laaaame, but it still would have been awesome, since there were multiple seasons of calling this guy "Colonel Doctor."

Okay, so they're not good suggestions, but I'm still cringing a little when I hear g-double-o-d-good. If you think you can do better, do share.